The Fight Within Read online

  The Fight Within

  Written by Tiana Laveen

  Edited by Natalie G. Owens

  Cover Layout – Travis Pennington

  ‡

  Copyright © 2014 by Tiana Laveen

  Kindle Edition

  All rights reserved.

  Warning: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 (five) years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000.

  Names, characters and incidents depicted in this book are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and beyond the intent of the author or the publisher.

  No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

  IN OTHER WORDS: If you steal this author’s work and illegally share it, you are no better than a thief that breaks into someone’s house while you think they are away. You are a criminal. You don’t work for free, so why should authors?! IF YOU STEAL, ILLEGALLY SHARE, UPLOAD OR PIRATE MY AND OTHER NOVELISTS LITERARY WORK, YOU SUCK. PERIOD. POINT BLANK.

  ‡

  Synopsis

  Sean Mahoney is unapologetic about the way he sees the world and how he expresses such beliefs with a cutting, rough delivery. In his domain, things are black and white, good or bad, right or wrong, with a healthy dose of good cheer. A hard-working garbage collector from Queens, New York by day, and dedicated college student and acclaimed kick boxer by night, he appears to be an open book, giving himself over fully without the need for one to dig further. But upon closer inspection, it becomes plain he is a ticking time bomb with a secret past, using various coping mechanisms to hide trauma and emotional pain that threaten to take him under. However, one day, the very thing he abhors becomes too irresistible to pass up… A mature, divorced woman by the name of Treasure Chambers is his newfound fascination and he knows deep down the feeling is mutual.

  Treasure and Sean’s first meeting is full of spirited venom as the sarcastic garbage collector sizes her up in ways she hadn’t anticipated. She fights the attraction and his advances, for she has two children from a marriage that burnt to the ground, leaving a hole in her heart that seemed unable to be healed.

  Over time, the two discover they are more alike than they thought, and socio-economic and racial disparities are the very issues that tie them together, versus pushing them apart. As their love for one another grows, they are met with outside and internal opposition, judgment, and a call to action in order to help heal themselves, and each other.

  Knowing without a shadow of a doubt that he has found a jewel in his life, will Sean be able to convince Treasure he is worth taking a chance on as he reveals his true self? Come along for a reading experience about hope, healing after the storm, and the true definition of love and trust built from ground zero. There is a fight within, but who will come out victorious?

  ‡

  Dedication

  This book is dedicated to the working class citizens around the globe. This is for the unappreciated employees who are overworked and underpaid. For the trash collectors, delivery men and women, construction personnel, factory workers, carpenters, maids and butlers, mechanics, and all of the individuals getting their hands dirty, their sleep stolen, and their bodies tormented so that others don’t have to see or touch their own filth, look it in the eye, in more ways than one. Thank you from the bottom of my heart – for you are the beating core of not only this country, but the entire world.

  –Tiana Laveen

  ‡

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Synopsis

  Dedication

  To the Reader

  Warning

  Epigraph

  Preface

  A Word from Our Hero

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Author Bio

  Thank You to My Readers

  Music Directory

  Book Club Questions

  To the Reader

  Greetings, bookworms, fans, friends, window shoppers, naughty novel lovers, avid readers and those who are new to my work. For the individuals that are familiar with me and are now well accustomed to these nauseating introductions, repeated cautionary tales and over-killed warnings, patronizing lectures, and the occasional ill-placed introductory joke, please feel free to skip this portion and go along your merry way to greener pastures in this book. However, if you are a glutton for repeated abuse, then stay put as I speak to you and everyone else in regards to this novel, as well as how it came to be. Now, if you’re still here, and it appears that you are, I’d like to say thank you for putting up with me a bit longer before I open the red curtains and expose my work for your reading experience.

  First, I wish to say that I believe this book to be the quintessential love story. Well, at least it begins that way. I delve into deep character study and development, which is common for me to do, allowing you, as the reader to get to know each person involved in this tale up close and personal. Now here is where my typical warnings come in before we take one step further…blah blah blah, right? But I must be fair to new readers who are not as familiar with my writing style and delivery. I see this as essential because it protects them from probing into something they may not desire, but also attracts those that do in fact care for such a conveyance. So, for the sake of easy reference, I have compiled a warning list below…

  Warning

  This book contains topics that are adult in nature. There is a gratuitous amount of profanity. Though it is not common for me to delve too deeply into racism, with the exception of the Saint series, this book does in fact explore the topic, on many levels. In other words, the characters are involved in situations that may cause discomfort for the reader. In addition, though this book is not covered with a million sex scenes and I wouldn’t necessarily declare it erotica per se, many would classify it as such, I am sure. Nevertheless, the love scenes are plentiful, and no detail is spared. If you do not wish to read scenes of an explicit/intimate nature, this may not be the book for you. Below is a breakdown of all the elements that may be objectionable or a concern for a potential reader of this novel:

  1. Abundant Profanity

  2. Detailed and plentiful sexual scenes

  3. Divorce

  4. Emotional Abuse

  5. Poverty, Elitism and Classism

  6. First intimate scene does not come fast (pardon the pun.)

 
; 7. Racism (just reminding you :) )

  8. Parenthood/Parental Challenges

  9. Ageism and age differentiation between hero and heroine

  Okay, are we good here now? Very well, let’s move along.

  Now, if you don’t know of my work and my reputation, here it is in a nutshell:

  I am verbose. However, it has purpose, merit, and is intentional. They are not just useless ramblings, but bits and pieces being placed together so that you can see the story unfold in layers. Thus, the end result will leave you with fewer questions and more answers; at least, that is my intention. In order for me to accomplish this, the story requires descriptive scenes, dialogue, and internal thoughts to be explored. Notice that I said it requires ME to do this work, because that is simply how I write in order to accomplish several goals and to be true to how I personally tell a story. I understand that not every reader enjoys this sort of thing, so I simply wanted to make everyone aware how character study and development are tied deeply into my style of writing. I’m a visual writer, meaning, what I personally see in a scene I go through great lengths to ensure the reader sees that scene with me. I want you present, in the moment.

  Moving on now to the next point. More times than not, I speak from the male perspective when I write. Why? Because that is how my brain is wired. Never mind that I am a heterosexual woman with an extensive Hello Kitty collection and obscenely large finger nail polish compendium that could easily go on the black market for hundreds of dollars. That aside, some would argue that I am missing a goatee and penis and am ‘one of the guys.’ I can go from being the stereotypical emotional lady to the ‘I don’t give two fucks about this’ attitude. And both sides of me are legit and take turns being center stage.

  All that would be missing is my hand down the front of my pants, a cigar dangling out of my mouth, and me ordering some lady to grab me a beer out the fridge while I watch the game and curse at my losing team. Okay, let’s continue. (If I haven’t scared you off, of course). Let’s jump into how I handle intimate encounters. Ah yes, those pesky intimate encounters…

  It appears that I’m known for also writing descriptive love scenes. You will be riding shotgun in the bedrooms, on the floors, against the walls, hanging out the cars, up and down the stairs, in the pool, the steam bath, the ocean, your grandmother’s floral couch hidden in the corner of the mildewed basement, so yes…you get the idea. You will be there and you will know without a shadow of a doubt what each person involved looks like, smells like, sounds like, and most important, how they like their sex served. And that brings me to my next point…

  There are some people who read saucy books for one thing and one thing only…to be titillated. If you lean a bit closer, I promise to pique your interest in that department, however, the ride to ‘scream-my-name-ville’ sometimes is…how shall I say this? A looooong one. This gets on some readers’ ever friggin’ nerves! I promise I haven’t done so intentionally. Due to my ADHD, I learned the hard way to not make too many concrete plans in regards to my books. What I mean is, I allow my characters to do what they need to do, when they need to do it. I start with a loose outline so that I have some semblance of a plan, but more times than not, the people in my head run their own show. I am not a micro-managing sort of boss.

  Besides, any detailed plans I may have had were destined to be ignored and broken by the likes of me as well. I’m such an outlaw! Anyhow, I just have to sit down and write and let stuff flow.

  Now, back to the, ‘Tiana, why do so many of your books have the characters take so long to get it on the first time?!’ My efforts to allow full disclosure of the people in this love story require time, energy and buildup. Very few of my books have a sex scene in the first fifty pages. Yes, you heard that right/write. There is usually no bumping, grinding, screwing, panting, flopping about or cries of ecstasy until I have taken you down some path less travelled and forced you to look that hero and heroine in the eye. So, by the time you do witness them making love, you feel what they feel and you might even give a damn.

  Over half of my books take at least double that time and a few, even longer. I don’t believe in dragging things out as a general rule, but I do believe in listening carefully to my characters, and having their encounters ‘make sense.’ Some of my characters simply don’t sleep with people quickly. Others do, and sometimes the ones that do and do not are unfortunately paired up with their opposite, so it makes for a tug of war situation. Not all of us jump into bed with people at the drop of a hat, and my characters are not unlike you and me, and other people in the world. The characters go through what many of us experience when deciding if we are going to engage in sexual intimacy with someone new. We may hesitate. We may think about it long and hard, and then cum back for more deliberations. See what I did there? LOL. Now, you’ve officially had your first sex scene in the first ten pages.

  My job here is done! Okay, okay, just kidding. Back to the topic. So, understand going in that if you want a quickie, this book probably isn’t for you. Also be warned if you haven’t noticed already, this isn’t a short book. I wouldn’t call it alarmingly long but it is rather meaty. I don’t generally write short stories and one of the reasons is it doesn’t match my writing style; thus, there is a conflict of interest. It’s important to know one’s weaknesses and be real about it. I have issues regarding rules when it comes to writing, and following formulas. For some, it works and is needed; for people like me, it is oftentimes a kiss of death.

  I have to be free to write what I want to write about, how I want to write about it, and when I want to write it. This is not to say I lack discipline, quite the contrary, but it has to be done in way that is self-imposed, or my work may suffer. The main character, Sean Mahoney, also experiences that same ailment and when it pertained to him jumping the heroine’s bones, he is not the ‘wait around’ type of person. Still, his love interest is, and when you read the story, you will find out why.

  Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s talk about the nitty-gritty of this book. Sean Mahoney is an Irish American kickboxing trainer and champion from Sunnyside, New York, which is located in Queens. It is an area comprised of many races and ethnicities, though population there is heavily Irish. I’ve been there, seen the place, and bought the t-shirt. I got to see it all up close and personal so this aspect is particularly special for me. Thanks Shannon for letting my friend and me use your john in your Irish pub when we didn’t even buy anything to drink at two in the damn morning! Okay, I digress…

  Anyway, he is a city kid who grew up around an array of people, many of whom had completely different backgrounds and outlooks on life than his own. Like most people in the world, some things have happened in Sean’s life that he didn’t too much appreciate. That’s simply called life. None of us have had a perfect existence; it kind of goes with this silly notion of being human, vulnerable, and having expectations.

  The difference with Sean is that these things built up like layers of an onion, tiled squares of a quilt, and braided fibers of a rug, until an entire entity had formed and swallowed his humanity, part of his resolve and his ability to turn a coin and see the other side. Coins… that is a great segue, actually. You see Sean comes from a middle class family, lower middle class to be exact…working folks with a family to support. He wasn’t destitute, but he felt the pinch. His parents were hard working, good people, and he and his brother, only apart by one year of age, became best friends – seeing themselves as warriors against the rest of the world.

  This book is about love. It’s about how this torn down man survived in a place that hated him due to superficiality and arrogance. It is a story about surveying one’s motivations, about analyzing oneself so that one is not imprisoned by one’s mind and self-appointed limitations. After all, the brain is the biggest, most lethal jail cell of all, should it turn on you…

  This is a story about starting over, hitting the pause button, and learning to speak up for oneself. It is a tale about refusing
to be the doormat, the verbal punching bag and the long forgotten person that people only contact and cry out to when they are in need. It’s a story about putting one’s foot down, and holding one’s faith up. It’s about believing in the magically impossible, and the question begging for examination, ‘How wild! Could that really be true?’

  We have here a story about taking advice, taking chances, and seeing one’s life change right before one’s eyes. It’s a story written by me for YOU. Sean and Treasure meet in a less than conventional way, and their relationship pretty much keeps that same pattern and theme. Nothing about them is common, yet everything about them is relatable. This is a tale about wealth, power and riches and what that means, how it affects one person as opposed to another, and how we, as a society, define others based on their socio-economic status. We judge, but become angry when the same is done to us. We make assumptions, but hate when we are placed in a box. It’s time to open the lid and get out. It’s time to remove ourselves from the familiar, and walk amongst the ‘something new.’

  So, without further ado, I’d like to introduce you to Sean Mahoney and Treasure Chambers. May your aspirations regarding this novel be fulfilled, and may you leave ‘richer’ after you’ve read, ‘The End’. Thank you, and enjoy.

  ‡

  “Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”

  –Friedrich Nietzsche

  ‡

  Preface

  His bloodied, bandaged hands were soon framed in another puff of cough-inducing, chalky smoke. With stinging, stiff fingers, he hit the heavy bag, as if in slow motion while the damn thing swung like some hypnotic pendulum. Dull with time, the silver hanger chains rattled like the proverbial ghosts inhabiting his mind – never seen, but heard day after damn day. Through flared nostrils, he took another ragged breath then traced a spot at the corner of his creased mouth; the tip of his tongue roved out the side, slicking across his wet flesh. He tasted the shit, his usual meal during such a display. Salty sweat rolled onto the tip of his tongue, and he swallowed it whole. The brackish flavor etched inside of his mouth awakened him a bit like a sleeping giant from an involuntary, hazy trance.